Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Kate Zernike’s story in the New York Times on rich guys who dump their wives for younger models over and over again, “The Ex-Ex-Ex-Men,” is sad.
It does raise the question, though, of whether we should think of this phenomenon as serial monogamy, or serial polygamy. Since polygamy is illegal in our country, these relations have the form of monogamy. Often these deluded playboys imagine that they are in love and that this is really for life. For a while. Read the rest of this entry »
TOPIC THIS COULD ALSO COVER (FUTURE SUGGESTION):
*White people like child-bearing in late 30’s early 40s.
*White people like to be “young” for indefinite periods of time that would otherwise seem arbitrary or at the very best “pushing it”.
The “young couple” in the photo – her: 30s, him: 40s.
Bring on the “Hill-billy” jokes if you like, but where I come from a “young couple” is a “young couple” if and when both are under 24/25ish.
Advanced white people understand you should not have children until you are confident you can afford strollers as big as VW Bugs and gentrified homes… SUPER-Advanced white people understand that it is ideal for your one child to be headed to a liberal arts college for an arts degree right about the time you are ready to collect social security… Not a frightful idea in their mind – the 60s are the new 40s to them.
God bless Viagra & Cialis…
White people, eh? What are ya gonna do?
Q: How is polygamy different from re-marriage?
A: Polygamy may prove to be more responsible!
It is far more acceptable to leave the woman and the children and leave them without benefit of a father in the home and all the attendant risks of poverty for the woman and her children… (and yes, it is the women who suffer the most, they always do.) Ultimately, leaving the other parent of your children (and the children themselves!) for the new model is the new polygamy.
On the flip side of the coin, when Muslims (a lathe patriarch of the Bin Ladens) tire of their older infertile wives they say in quick succession (in front of a Muslim male witness):
I divorce you
I divorce you
I divorce you
and it is done. It is common for the divorced woman to then remain in the compound in her little apartment or home and to then be supported by her sons… (Anyone who thinks we don’t have this here needs to come to Ohio and visit the second largest Somali community outside of Somalia – those “sisters & cousins” are not sisters & cousins!
My friends’s husband has reared children from her previous marriages as his own… But the more normal and accepted pattern would be what my best friend in HS school experienced – his very well paid (6 figure) father divorced mom, managed to get a pittance of child-support obligation, and moved into the new suburb with the new wife in the new home with the step daughter three hours away in another city… Acceptably leaving his children and their mother to scrape by on a teacher’s salary. But hey, at least that isn’t polygamy! (Right?)
Now had the high school buddy’s father set up the mother of his children in a small home on the property where he could have attended to his fatherly duties and not allowed them to languish in poverty where groceries had to be placed of high interest credit cards and medical care had to be foregone at times when the choice was between paying the gas bill or dental work…
Well, where would that have fit into the grey area of today’s very acceptable proto-polygamy of abandoning one’s spouse and progeny? Very tricky isn’t it? I mean, vows are vows until “people gotta be people” and women need to prove they are no man’s woman or men need a new woman that Read the rest of this entry »
What will become of these women and their children? All of those wives… All of those children…
Even if the men who are accused of polygamy are found guilty, they have raised a small army of sons to believe as they do… and for a small army of daughters the same is true. Questions arise, will it come to an end, or will they just move on dealing with this hardship as a test or a trial?
What seems so up in the air in 2008 is why this should be so odd or problematic. On the face of it, casual sex and having children out of wedlock is a norm in some demographics, with trends continuing in that fashion. The press for same-sex marriage seems to continue to build up steam, and on the face of it, I can’t say I see a big difference.
If we are called to eschew the idea of marriage being “one man, one woman” why not just open the door to ANY arrangement?
At this time Hugh Hefner’s 3 girlfriends have a TV show about life with the pornography patriarch – all of them young enough to be his granddaughters. What is the essential difference in that arrangement? Why does that get a “reality” TV show whereas these folks are seen as being just odd? Is fertility and openness to life the key difference? If these men were treating all these women as just live-in girlfriends, it would be fine?
For the record, I am in no way supporting this false sect of a false religion – I find it odd myself. But it is my traditional thinking about marriage – which most Americans do not share – that brings me to this feeling of these folks being wrong.
What is informing the general abhorrence of the public at large?