Top Ten Catholic pick-up line

May 14, 2009

10. May I offer you a light for that votive candle?
9. Hi there. My buddy and I were wondering if you would settle a dispute we’re having. Do you think the word should be pronounced HOMEschooling, or homeSCHOOLing?
8. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?
6. You don’t like the culture of death either? Wow! We have so much in common!
5. Let’s get out of here. I know a much cozier little Catholic bookstore downtown.
4. I bet I can guess your confirmation name.
3. You’ve got stunning scapular-brown eyes.
2. Did you feel what I felt when we reached into the holy water font at the same time?
1. Confess here often?

5 bob to: Ad Te Levávi Ánimam Meam

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Atheism In The Woods

May 4, 2009

5 bob to: Atheism In The Woods « Me So Catholic

Atheism In The Woods

Grizzly Bear

An atheist was walking through the woods…

“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging toward him!

He started to run as fast as he could, but realized the bear was closing in on him.

Then, he tripped and fell to the ground. When he rolled over the bear was right on top of him, raising his paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time Stopped! The bear froze. The forest was silent.

Jesus LightThen, a bright light shone upon the man, and a voice said, “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others that I don’t exist, and even credit creation to some cosmic ‘accident’. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Can I count on you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. Then the bear brought both paws together, bowed his head and said…

“Blesss us, O Lord, for these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive, through Thy bounty, through Christ the Lord, Amen.”

)


Which One Is Which?

October 6, 2008

The always refreshing blog Roman Catholic Vocations has the following photo in a more recent post about three sisters who all became Carmelites:

It is noted in the text of the story: “Sr. Anne resides at the Carmelite monastery on Carmel Drive, Sister Miriam at the monastery in Covington and Sister Vilma, in Rhode Island.”

I wonder which two live in monasteries and which one lives “in Rhode Island”?

Any guesses? Read the rest of this entry »


Overlay Stoles: Enjoy Them Now!

August 3, 2008

When I am king of the world, anyone caught wearing one on the outside of their chasuable (the 70s are over!) is going to be run out of town wearing ONLY their overlay stole.


Darth Vader, Aussie Anglicans & Icelandic Lutherans – What Is Going On?

August 2, 2008

5 bob to TheForce.Net where it is written:

Darth Vader & The Icelandic Church?

Posted By Mike on July 26, 2008

Our friend Kevin sent over the following regarding Darth Vader making an appearance with members of the Icelandic church:

“This happened in Iceland where the national religion is Lutheren.

At the start of a priest “gathering” or “summit”, for lack of a better word, 140 priests and all the top players of the Icelandic church took a quiet little photo-op stroll before Mass. A member of the Icelandic Unified Atheist League showed up to pester them and humiliate. The strangest part is that only one tv news network (believe it or not we have 3) and one newspaper (of which we have 4) covered this hilarious mystery guest.

Notice the guy in the red frock trailing the priest procession? That is the bishop of Iceland, the most powerfull man within the Icelandic church. Notice the guys with guns protecting him and tackling Darth Vader for reasons of national security? No, me neither…”

Interestingly… Darth recently appeared in procession with the Anglicans of Australia… image From our brethren at Stand Firm:

 

 

 

 

 

 

The writer suggest that Darth may have converted and was leaving the dark side. Me? I think they may be confused Read the rest of this entry »


Just To Scare Jack Chick Fans & Other Various And Sundry Conspiracy Theorists…

July 9, 2008

 Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!


Clergy Couture… Fab – u – LOUS! + Beauty Tips For Ministers

May 19, 2008

Clergy Couture

I now have seen it all, or so I thought.  Then I discovered…

Beauty Tips for Ministers written by a woman whose nom de blogis “PeaceBang”.  (Run with it…)

About

PeaceBang thinks of herself as the stage mother to the American clergy, and she wants ALL her babies to be stars!

This is the gospel of Beauty Tips For Ministers: if clergypeople believe that religious life is vital, relevant and beautiful, they should look the part. PeaceBang is fond of saying that if we do not project an image intentionally, we will project one unconconsciously. She believes that God has made a good gift in you, and you don’t bring an unwrapped gift to God’s party.

This blog is for the encouragement of self-care, the sharing of tips, and the celebration of shoes, lip gloss, fragranced shaving cream, and all of the other accoutrements of vanity which have hitherto been considered wholly unholy, and therefore generally discussed only in hushed whispers among the servants of the LORD.

I do believe if any female minister on the American scene can guide the non-Catholic world through the perils and pitfalls of beauty secrets and being fabulous, to whom else should they turn but a woman minister whose credentials speak for themselves?

I am not going to get all high-and-mighty here and pretend that I don’t absolutely LOVE “Sex and the City” and that it didn’t get me through several break-ups (along with enormous bowls of buttered popcorn liberally doused with chili powder), but I will freely admit that I was deeply offended by the first few episodes I saw and prepared to DENOUNCE IT FROM THE PULPIT. A funny thing happened on my way to researching that sermon further, though: I found myself crying over an episode and that was it — I was totally IN with Carrie and her posse.

Well there you go, I guess.