Barack the Messiah

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth – for the first time – to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the

Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the

Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

Read it all.

See Also: Barack the Magic Negro


14 Responses to Barack the Messiah

  1. […] Also: Barak the Messiah Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Limbaugh pulls an ImusIf THEY say it, react, […]

  2. ultraguy says:

    For over a year now, I’ve had this niggling, won’t-go-away, spidey-sense intuition to which I seldom give voice, even to myself, that maybe, just maybe we’re watching the anti-Christ rise up (or at least one of his henchmen). Nothing on B. Hussein Obama’s recent trip has done anything to damp down that intuition. As this piece points out (albeit satirically): if he’s not the anti-Christ, then the real one may well be smiling at the level of megalomania he’s exhibiting.

  3. Fr. J. says:

    Hey ultra, how was lunch with your priest friend?

  4. ultraguy says:

    Fr. J – Thanks for remembering (and praying)…. we’re noshing this coming Friday.

  5. Surprised says:

    Spidey sense? Are you 12 years old?

    Surely there are any number of policy grounds on which you could argue with BHO. Instead, you simply make something up, a charge so outrageous that it’s beyond evidence.

    *Any* candidate for President is going to have a certain robust self-confidence.

    I expect this from a certain kind of uneducated evangelical Protestant. Y’all too?

  6. Spidey sense? Are you 12 years old?

    Are you 10 years old? Are you unable to handle pop culture references or turn of phrase?

  7. Fr. J. says:


    Our friend expressed an intuition, no more, no less. Take it for what it is worth, no more, no less.

  8. ultraguy says:

    Surprised – You would probably be (surprised) if I shared my educational credentials and my political and religious past with you, but this is not about that and I suspect it would not change your opinion of me anyway. :)

    Thank you Fr. J – spot on. Who knows but God how our various political leaders, candidates and aspirants are to be used in His plan? I surely don’t. Please do not mistake me for a prophet. Impersonating one comes with nasty repercussions. Far be it from me to persuade you to vote differently based on a blog comment like that one!

    No, I was simply hoping to kick off some thinking and maybe discussion on a plane above the typical earthly political analysis about what’s going on in the world today. Take or leave my BHO intuition, but watching a film like Dark Knight last night (excellent, IMHO), one can’t help but notice a certain apocalyptic breeze in the zeitgeist nowadays. Bottom line: methinks it amounts to something.

  9. ultraguy says:

    “far be it from me…” was directed at Surprised, not Fr. J

  10. Fr. J. says:

    Ultraguy, what did u think of the Christological ending of Dark Knight?

  11. ultraguy says:

    Umm… [sound of slack-jawed stare at empty exam blue book, sensing he’s about to fail this quiz…] :)

    Without spoiling the ending for others, the best I was able to do was map Satan onto the Joker (not that that’s terribly hard to do). Lots of problems with mapping the DA or Bruce Wayne onto anyone in particular, though there are certainly some Christological elements to the Batman character.

  12. Fr. J. says:


    Dont worry about any exams. But, when Batman takes the blame for the mayor’s evil deeds condemning himself to being hunted down by civilization, it struck me as Christological.

    “He Who Knew no Sin Became Sin For Us” 2Cor5:21


    “But it was for our sins he was wounded, and for our evil doings he was crushed: he took the punishment by which we have peace, and by his wounds we are made well.” Isaiah 53:5

  13. ultraguy says:

    Yes, see my latest post on this. I thought it was an original thought, but others (e.g., Andrew Klavan in the Wall Street Journal last Friday) are also comparing Batman to Bush… and Christ… not that one should then lead folks to conclude that those two are equivalent, but there you go… people have a need to hate truth-tellers, even when those truth-tellers are trying to help them.

  14. ultraguy says:

    … or perhaps especially when those truth-tellers are trying to help them.

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