Marriage: Put up a Good Fight

Rules

 

For Fighting Fair

[See how many you can guess without looking.]

Confronter

  • Face Your Fear Of Confrontation.
  • Confront To Reconcile, Not To Win.
  • Discuss The Conflict ASAP.
  • Timing Is Everything.
  • State Exactly What Is Bothering You.
  • Confront With Truth And Affection.
  • When You … I Feel … Because.

Confrontee

  • Listen To Learn.
  • Assume Good Will
  • If Your Spouse Says You Do, Then You Do.
  • Do Not Justify.
  • Do Not Punish The Other For Confronting.
  • Let The Other Finish.

Both

  • Be Respectful.
  • Remain Calm. / Use Time-Outs As Needed.
  • Stay On One Subject. At A Time.
  • Keep The Problem The Problem.
  • The Past Is Not A Weapon.
  • Do Not Generalize: No Always / Never.
  • NO Insults / Character Assassination.
  • No Mind Reading. / Speak Of Actions, Not Motivations.
  • Try To See Things From Your Partner’s Point Of View./Empathy
  • No Passive Aggression / Manipulation.
  • Forgive Each Other.
  • Never Discuss Your Spouse With A Member Of The Opposite Sex..
  • Do Not Draw Blood.

Revised with the help of Tony and Renee, and Nathan and Michelle

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