Father Cutie-pie

Father Cutie

Father Cutie, a priest who finds it difficult to avoid temptation, put himself in the way of temptation. He focused on relationships and ministered to those in a society that, shall we say, doesn’t firmly believe in clothing. At first it looked as though he had got caught up in being a media darling and made a mistake.

Now? We learn that Cutie’s in love. With a single mother. Please pray for him. He has a tough road ahead of him, no matter what happens. He promised his celibacy to God and, at the very least, he has caused scandal by giving the appearance of having broken that promise. While we know that he has appeared in inappropriate photos and been given a time out, we don’t know if anything more than that has happened.  There’s no need to speculate; you’ve had days to do that and are wondering what I can possibly add to this.

It’s common knowledge that a taking a vow of celibacy is a requirement for Catholic priests. That’s how it is. I’m not an expert on discerning a vocation or priestly formation, though I do know that men who go to the seminary aren’t always there for the right reasons.  Some are ordained.  Some are not.

I have knowledge of a priest who was involved with a single parent. His family strongly influenced him to enter the priesthood, for which he was not a good fit. He had no vocation and ultimately left the church and married the woman. They remained married the rest of his life. Happily? Not necessarily; in order to marry her, he renounced his promise to God. I don’t think that would be easy. It may have contributed to his alcoholism and abuse of his stepsons, who he beat regularly.

Scandal? Why yes, the situation did cause scandal and who bore the brunt of it? Her parents. He was a priest in her hometown, the same town in which her parents continued to live and where they were the target of crank callers and other unpleasantness. Her mother had a mental health breakdown and the stress is believed to have contributed to her father’s death a few months later. The new couple? They moved half a continent away.

Please pray for Father Cutie, the woman with whom he’s in love and also for her children, who are likely to experience fallout no matter how this situation is resolved.

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13 Responses to Father Cutie-pie

  1. Many people in the Church today tend to think that the coldness and elitist tendency of the Catholic clergy of yesteryear was something that needed to be changed to the current amicable, “Call me Fr. Bob” chuminess of the clergy now. As someone who had exposure to the old school, “custody of the eyes” method of clerical formation, I understand that the former attitude, while sometimes misunderstood, was all for the best. Clergy are people too, and sometimes the best way to avoid temptations of the flesh is simply not to be as “amicable” as many would like. People should understand that celibacy is a hard thing to practice, and sometimes being slightly aloof just comes with the territory.

    Then again, this elitist attitude also shielded the “all-boy” network that spread the sex scandals throughout the Church. (The recent movie “Doubt” does a good job showing this.) But a little from column A and a little from column B is the best way to go. To have a priest with “rock star” good looks, who is good with people, and likes to “counsel” is a recipe for disaster in a liberal church atmosphere, no matter how “conservative” his pretensions seem to be.

  2. Beatrice M. says:

    I have worked for so many priests over the last 20 years and I have known many priests of all ages from many orders, some of them are stunningly handsome. Yes they are human but one thing that is certain is that, those priets no matter how handsome they are who truly entered the priesthood for the right reason remain celibate and remain really good priests. I know many of them still today. On the other hand, I have also seen many who entered the priesthood for the wrong reason fall from grace and have left the priesthood and have gotten married. But one thing that I have found having kept in touch with them after they left the priesthood is that, none of them are happy with their lives. They have hard time making ends meet because they seem to not be able to keep a steady job. Some of them resort to alcoholism and many others who are divorced or separated and living a more lonely life than they had when they were priests.

    A lot of these x-priests were very popular when they were priests but what they didn’t realized was that, their popularity was associated with the job they do as priests and they revel in the attention they get while they were still priests. They didn’t realize that once they get out and get married, the only attention they get is from the spouse and his family circle. They don’t have the care of the whole conggregatioin that they once enjoyed anymore and they no longer have the freedom to see whom they like and when they like. This rude awakening is hard for them to swallow once they leave the priesthood. Guilt will then start to haunt them.

    Priests who intend to leave and marry should really discern the ‘after-priest’ life before they think about leaving the priesthood.

    They made a concious choice to priests and took that vow. No one force them to be priests.

    • Mserrano says:

      You hit it on the nail. Father Q-tay brought his ticket and knew what he was getting into. As he stated, “it has been over 10 years”. 10 years!! 10 years!! duh duh, so why did he not leave BEFORE the pictures came out? Because, as an average man, loving a single parent women, he was just average. You see with a collar, and looks and a radio show, he was “special”. ALL EGO. The arrogance upon which he appears on these talk shows both english and spanish, makes me sick. “Don’t insult my intelligence Father Q-tay”. If you found love above your love of GOD to serve GOD and his commandment, what the F&&k didn’t you leave a long time ago. There was no one stopping from leaving, no physical restraints. I have the questions that none of these reporters are asking him face to face.
      1. Do you think maybe your “LOVER” decided she needed to help you make the decision to leave the church?, duh duh, she was already 10 years waiting!! You think she wanted another 10?
      2. When you decided to break you priestly vows, did you confess your sins to another priest? As is required if your a “practicing catholic”.
      3. Do you think your going to “HELL”?

      Personally, I think hell for situations such as this are simply their lives outside the priesthood never find peace.

      Peace out.

  3. diane says:

    Rebecca, that is so sad!!

    I’d never heard of Father Cutie until this a.m. He is definitely gorgeous, and I’m sure there were many women out there willing to take advantage of his good looks and celebrity (not to mention the lure of “forbidden fruit”). But, as Rebecca says, he must have been willing to play along. And Arturo nails it: “To have a priest with “rock star” good looks, who is good with people, and likes to “counsel” is a recipe for disaster in a liberal church atmosphere, no matter how “conservative” his pretensions seem to be.” AMEN!

  4. diane says:

    Oops, I mean Beatrice, not Rebecca. Beatrice — Rebecca — easily confused, LOL!!!!

  5. evagrius says:

    I’ve known former priests who have been quite happily married for many years and have done quite a bit in social work etc;.

    I don’t see a priest getting married as “falling from grace”. That, in my opinion, means that marriage is, somehow, a lesser form of living than celibacy.

    Sorry, celibacy is neither higher or lower than any other state of human existence.

    Besides, Orthodox priests are, in the vast majority, married. They have the same charism, or lack of it, as celibate Catholic priests.

  6. Nan says:

    evagrius,

    Ever heard the words “you are a priest forever?” Any former priest is still a priest but is no longer in a clerical state.

    For a priest to get married, he must first abandon his commitment to God; he freely chose the celibate state and, if there was any question in his mind, should not have been ordained. It isn’t a matter whether celibacy or marriage is better, it’s a question of following through with vows.

    With regard to Orthodox priests, married Orthodox men may be ordained to the priesthood; Orthodox priests do not get married.

    Then again, we’re talking about a Catholic priest, not an Orthodox priest.

  7. Dr. Eric says:

    Furthermore, the Orthodox will be the FIRST to tell you that the celibate state is a higher calling than marriage. This is why they hold their monks in such high regard.

    I write this as a Catholic who does support a change in the status married men who wish to be priests. I think ordaining a few of the older Deacons would be a way to go.

  8. thefrenchchick says:

    The article in the link also says that he was ordained to the priesthood at the age of 18 in Puerto Rico. Perhaps there needs to be some worldwide reform as to what age candidates to the priesthood should be before they are ordained.

    To ordain an 18 year old seems wrong to me-that would mean all of his formation & study of the priesthood occurred when he was still a hormonal teen. That doesn’t seem to be a good plan for lasting celibacy. I’m not excusing what he did-he was wrong and he knew it. I’m also not excusing his insincere apology for what he did. That was just adding insult to injury.

    Personally, I do not support ordaining married men to the priesthood. It will not stop this kind of thing and it will add additional stress to any marriage.

  9. aboriente says:

    Coming from a tradition that allows married men to become priests, and personally being very blessed to live close to and know well a married priest who works day and night for his parish and is one of the humblest and most pleasant person I’ve met… I have no problem with married priests. And after all, Canon 374 {of CCEO} – Clerics, celibate or married, are to excel in the virtue of chastity.

    Also,the church does not teach that marriage is secondary and lesser state. I think the specialness of marriage is clearly taught in the “Theologoy of the Body” as far as I can make out from Christopher West’s lectures and talks.

    One problem comes when a priest {or full deacon} tries to get married. It is not part of the Apostolic tradition for someone who has received the major orders to neglect his duties and cause scandal to others by getting married. Not wanting to get into the apologetics of this, I’ll just say it simply is not done.

    An additional and bigger problem is presented in a situation where the priests has taken a vow of celibacy. The vow was freely taken; even if it is a disciplinary requirement in the West, it still is freely taken by those entering into the priestly ministry. And the vow was made with God, and is a beautiful thing of self-offering.

    I do hope that Fr. Cutie take responsible steps in the future of avoiding further scandal by stepping away from his priestly office.

    I do also have a question… if a priest has been found in the sin of adultery/concubinage, is it not automatic suspension of his clerical state? Is such a person allowed to continue in his office by recanting his actions? I ask this because it is a subject that raked our community with scandal when something similar happened, and the cleric who was caught in scandalous adultery was allowed to continue. Our synod laws were clear that in such a case, he cannot be once again entrusted with the office.

  10. Eugenia says:

    i think Father Cutie was wrong to violate his vow of celibacy and he admitted that he was wrong. In a recent TV interview, he said that he has struggled with celibacy, and should have made some dcisions some time ago.

    He is not unique. The only reason his story made headlines is beccasue he’s a media personisty. Countless priests have left the Catholic church for this reason. Some have left the priesthood altogether. Others have become clergy in other denominations.

    And so too has Father Cutie. The Catholic church’s loss has now become the Epicopal church’s gain. I’m sure his service in his new church will be just as valuable. I’m a former Cathlic, now an Episcopalian. The married priets I’ve known since being received innto the Episccopal faith are no less devoted than are Catholic priests. And more often tha not their wives are heavily involved in church activities.

    During that interview, Father Cutie said that he did not want to become the “anti-celibacy poster boy.” He said the Catholic church should make celibacy optional.

    I also think the Catholic church should make celibacy for priests an option, not a requirement. There are religious orders of monks and nuns who take vows of celibacy. The Church should also open the priesthood to women.

  11. Nan says:

    Eugenia, It’s good that you found a church that you can agree with.

  12. Robert says:

    Eugenia,

    A priest’s service is only valuable insofar as he is holy. While he may have had much apparent value in his work, it is hollow and rotten if holiness is lacking. Without that firm foundation which is Christ, his work will surely amount to nothing.

    While I wish him the best, I would not harbor the misconception that his work as a priest could be valuable despite his abandonment of his vows and the life of virtue. Holiness is the sine qua non of the consecrated life.

    God bless,
    Rob

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